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Breaking the chains of Familial Patterns

Growing Into Your True Self

The question of how many people end up resembling their parents is a complex one, influenced by a variety of factors, including genetics, upbringing, and personal choices. Statistically, it is undeniable that family plays a significant role in shaping our personalities, behaviors, and beliefs. When it comes to trauma-related patterns, breaking free from these cycles is a challenging but essential journey toward self-discovery and personal growth.

Statistical Likelihood of Resembling Your Parents

Statistically speaking, we often follow the paths of our parents. We mimic what we see growing up or we marry into a similar situation. For example, if our parents were smokers or heavy drinkers, we are 4X more likely to follow in their footsteps. Studies have found that we are more likely to marry someone like our parents. That means, that if one of your parents was an alcoholic, for example, you are likely to marry someone who also has Alcohol Use Disorder.

This resemblance can be attributed to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Genetically, you inherit traits from your parents through DNA, which can influence physical characteristics, certain personality traits, and even susceptibility to certain health conditions. However, genetics only provide part of the picture.

Environmental factors, such as upbringing, culture, and family dynamics, also play a significant role. Children often mimic their parents' behaviors, beliefs, and values, creating a familial pattern. These patterns can be both positive and negative, as they can encompass both healthy habits and harmful behaviors. Trauma within the family can amplify negative patterns, making it crucial to address and break free from them.

Breaking Trauma-Related Patterns

Trauma-related patterns can be particularly challenging to overcome because they often involve deeply ingrained behaviors and emotional wounds. Here are some steps to help break free from these patterns:

Self-awareness: Recognize that you may be repeating patterns learned from your family due to trauma. Self-awareness is the first step in breaking the cycle.

Seek professional help: Consider therapy or counseling to address the trauma and its impact on your life. A trained therapist can help you understand your patterns and provide tools to break them.

Establish boundaries: Set healthy boundaries with family members to protect your mental and emotional well-being. This may involve limiting contact with toxic individuals or creating distance when necessary.

Self-care: Prioritize self-care to heal and grow. This includes maintaining physical health, practicing mindfulness, and engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Surround yourself with a supportive network: Build a support system of friends and mentors who can provide guidance, encouragement, and positive influences.

Growing Into Your Authentic Self

Growing into your authentic self is a lifelong journey. It involves discovering who you truly are, apart from the influences of your family and past trauma. Here are some key steps to help you on this path:

Self-reflection: Continuously reflect on your values, passions, and aspirations. Ask yourself what makes you unique and what you want in life.

Set goals: Define clear and achievable goals that align with your authentic self. Take small steps toward these goals, celebrating each success along the way.

Embrace self-acceptance: Accept your past and your family's history as a part of your journey, but not your entire identity. Embrace your strengths and imperfections as integral to your uniqueness.

Continuous learning: Explore new interests, engage in personal development, and expand your horizons. Education and personal growth will help you become the person you want to be.

Practice resilience: Life will have its ups and downs. Embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and resilience-building.

How Coaching Can Help

Working with a coach, specifically Remi Gibbs, can help you on many levels in this process. Coaching typically takes a holistic approach incorporating the body, mind, and spirit which plays well into helping you build a customized self-care plan that you can follow every day. Coaching will also help you grow into your authentic self by helping you uncover who you are and what you want out of life, which then allows you to set targeted goals for yourself. Coaching also holds you accountable for reaching your goals, in turn propelling you forward in your life in the direction you want to go.

While statistical likelihoods may suggest that individuals often resemble their parents in various ways, it is essential to recognize that everyone has the capacity to break free from harmful patterns and grow into their authentic selves. Trauma-related patterns can be particularly challenging, but with self-awareness, professional support, and a commitment to self-discovery, it is possible to break free from these cycles and become the person you want to be. Remember that your journey to self-discovery and personal growth is unique and ongoing, and every step you take brings you closer to your authentic self.


About the Author

Remi Gibbs is a certified 1:1 Life, Career, and Self-Care coach where she helps people get unstuck. She co-hosts the podcast: Conversations on Life, Work, and Love available anywhere you listen to podcasts. She is a writer and workshop/retreat leader. Find out more on her website, email or call/text (702) 353.5986

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